As an entrepreneur, I have two branches of my business that I manage. The first is related to the Army and the second is related to writing.

I sometimes find it hard to go back and forth between the military world and the writing world. I have accounts for each on several different social media networking sites and get to see a stream of consciousness for both sides.

On the military side, there are people posting about the Veteran suicide rate, yet another soldier who is returning home in a flag draped coffin or going through birth alone because their soldier was at war. It is sobering for sure. Now, not all of their posts are so sad and morbid, but they are definitely sprinkled in there.

On the writing side, I see way too many people proclaiming to be an expert on this topic or that subject and they post about normal, every day life. They complain because Starbucks didn’t have their favorite coffee this morning or their internet connection was out for a few minutes when they first sat down to work.

At times, I wish those in the writing world could see and understand how simple their issues are compared to what some in the military world are dealing with on a daily basis. That’s not to say that everyone in the writing world leads a carefree life without any stressors. Not at all. But seeing someone post about meeting their soldier at a plane in Dover instead of at his home duty station with a big smile on his face makes missing that cup of coffee that ruined your morning not so big of a deal.

On the other hand, I also wish that those who are dealing with all of the issues surrounding the military on the daily basis could just live in the here and now like those in the writing world seem to do. I wish they could be in a place where their internet being down for a few minutes was the biggest concern of their day. I wish they could lay their worries to the side and just enjoy their days.

As I bounce back and forth between the two, I sometimes find myself getting irritated at the lack of understanding and empathy that is shown towards those in the military lifestyle who endure so much. But then I have to remind myself that those two worlds are on different feeds. I’m one of the few that sees them both. My military world doesn’t understand my writing world any more than my writing world understands my military world.

And that’s okay. I like being a part of both.

My military world reminds me to be thankful for what I have, to cherish every moment we are given and to support those who are in need. While my writing world reminds me of the limitless possibilities that exist, that going after your dreams is possible (and encouraged) and that success can be yours if you are willing to work for it.

Yes, I think I like living in two worlds. It’s the perfect combination for me.

I ran across this post at Man vs. Debt entitled How NOT To Suck At Blogging. I must admit that the title itself is what pulled me into the post and the site. Suck is a word in my vocabulary that is rather common. My dad used to try to convince me that crap and suck were as bad as curse words as I used them quite a bit and he hated the sound of both. His tactic didn’t work and the two words still stand out in my vocabulary. Of course when said with a southern accent, they sound cute. Or at least I’d like to think so.

Back to the point.

There are some amazing ideas in this rather long post of his. As he says, he does not tell you how to be a great blogger. Only how not to suck at it. It is a no nonsense post full of links to other great bloggers, videos and tips. You must check it out.

What’s the biggest thing I pulled away from all of it?

To be genuine. Let people see the real you. As a people pleasing person, this is not always an easy task for me. But when I go back and read some of my previous posts (especially on some of my other blogs), I realize the best content was produced when I just wrote. I didn’t try to develop this inspiring post that would move people, I just wrote what was in my head and heart at the time. Those are the posts I go back to and think wow, did I really write that? They are also coincidentally the posts with the most comments from readers.

Surely, there’s a reason for that, right?

I know some bloggers who plan out their posts weeks or even months in advance. As much as I try to be that organized with my posting, it is just not when my work is at its best. It is not when I connect to readers and it is certainly not when they connect with me.

Check out the post and definitely watch the video of Gary Vaynerchuk that is included. Although be warned, due to language, it is not safe for a traditional work setting or with children in the room. It will, however, light a fire under you and I can certainly understand why he watches the video so often.

This is a tough one for me to swallow, personally. But I absolutely must learn that I can’t please everybody all the time. In fact, I probably can’t please even some of the people all of the time.

In one of my businesses, I routinely deal with hundreds of people on a daily basis. This is all in the online world so we only have the benefit of the written word when communicating. That can easily be read in ways that the writer did not intend, especially on easily debatable topics. As a moderator of all of this, it can be difficult to keep my opinion out of the mix while imparting fair judgment on those who cross the line with insults and attacks.

Everyone is not always happy with the decisions that I make. It can bother me quite a bit and I admit that it is certainly a weakness of mine. Unfortunately, its a known weakness and an easy advantage point for those who know it.

Why do we have such a need to please people?

I suppose my own personal need goes back to my childhood with always wanting to please my parents. It bothered me greatly if my parents were upset with me or even if there was a possibility my parents would be upset with me in the future. This often led to me turning myself in whenever I broke a rule even if I had not been caught. The people pleasing has continued through my jobs and now into my own businesses.

People Pleasers and Managers Don’t Mix
In my last corporate job before starting my business, I was the director of several departments and had a few people who reported to me. I hated it with a passion. I despised having to manage other people and to reprimand them when they went against the guidelines of the company. I wanted to be friends. I wanted them to like me. I wanted to please everyone, including them. What did this ultimately result in? Me hating my job.

How Do You Change?
Those who are able to have a cavalier attitude about what others think about them will easily tell you to just ignore it or shrug it off. They make it sound so very easy. It is not easy for me though and requires a conscious effort on my part.

I have to remind myself that I cannot please everyone. I have to make the best decision that I can based on the information I have at the time. I think about my decisions and ask myself if I would be comfortable with it being on the front of a national newspaper? If the answer is yes, I proceed. If not, then I rethink that decision. I look into the decision and ask am I uncomfortable because its not the right thing to do or because someone may be upset after I implement my decision? If it is that someone will be upset, will it be because I wronged them?

Obviously, I don’t go through all of these questions for every decision that I make. But I have found that dealing with these questions makes me more comfortable with making bigger decisions that will impact people other than just myself. So far, it has not led me astray.

How do you deal with your people pleasing tendencies?

Since I was very young, writing has been an outlet for me to clear my head. I blast my iPod and just start writing. I don’t pay attention to grammar, spelling or punctuation. Just write what comes to mind.

It has always brought me comfort to be able to write about my thoughts. It makes things seem more clear and in some ways feels like I am getting an outside perspective about whatever is going on in my life at the moment.

I received a request for an interview next week. For a job. A “real” job. To say I am conflicted about it is a huge understatement. I feel like a sell-out to entrepreneurship for even considering a real job. And honestly the only pro I can come up with for taking it is the guaranteed salary. However, that guaranteed salary is also set. In stone.

So I sat down to write. I wrote about every thing that was bothering me about my current career path in entrepreneurship. I wrote about the obstacles but also about the endless opportunities that are always in front of me. I wrote about the differences in how you are perceived by people when you work a job in the corporate world versus blazing your own path.

But I think most importantly I wrote about what my life would look like if I accepted this job. I detailed my day from waking up to the alarm clock, to putting on a business suit and fighting traffic. Working in an office setting behind a wooden desk with only a small window. Not having the freedom to work outside or work at a cafe if the urge struck. Only being allowed an hour for lunch and having to put in eight hours of face time even if the job only required four hours of work time.

Then I wrote down what my days are like now. A little silly of course as I’m living those days. But I did write it down as well. Getting up when I wake up on my own. Working when I want on my schedule. Of course, I still work hard and I get a lot of accomplished in a day’s time. But if I clear my to do list by noon, then it is up to me whether to keep working or goof off with my husband and son for the rest of the day. At the same time, if I get a great idea for a business project at 10pm, there’s nothing that stops me from working on it.

Then I read back over those two scenarios. And the choice was amazingly simple. Even so, I will still interview for this job, if for no other reason than to keep from wondering what if. Not to mention, it never hurts to have a few more networking contacts under my belt.

My computer is definitely my friend. The outlet it provides for me is priceless.

This is a question I have been struggling with as of late.

What is my purpose in life? Am I fulfilling it? Do I do any thing that is truly meaningful?

I must say, I am still looking for the answer and I’m not sure I have found it yet.

There are parts of my business that I found immensely rewarding and satisfying on a very personal level. It motivates and inspires me to do more.

However, unfortunately, those same parts are also the parts that do not bring in the most income. The parts of my business that generate income seem rather mundane, boring and monotonous.

Same stuff, different day.

Is it possible to bring meaning to every thing that we do? Is it even advisable to do that? Should the things that make us money to live (and by live, I certainly don’t mean extravagantly) also serve a purpose in our lives? Or should it just be the means to a financial end?

These are the types of questions I have been struggling with in the past few weeks. When I focus on the parts of my job that I love, I feel like I’m not even working. My juices start flowing and I feel like I am in a very happy place.

I continually put off those other tasks that do not produce the same effect. But that also means, I am putting off a significant portion of my income.

Grass is Always Greener?
It is easy to say that the grass is always greener on the other side. Then when you get to that side, all you want to do is go back to where you came from in the beginning. How do we get beyond wanting what we don’t have?

I absolutely despised having to be dressed in a business suit and heels every day when I worked in the corporate world. It was a major relief to me to be able to dress however I please without having a strict dress code in order to work.

When shopping with a friend over the weekend, she was picking out suits and heels for work. I felt jealous. I still to this moment cannot tell you why I felt that way. I really do not want to have to dress up again but the feeling was there nonetheless.

So what do you believe? Do you think every thing that you do can serve a purpose or do you have to separate your life into monetary activities and those activities that truly fulfill you?

I must admit that procrastination has always been a strength of mine. I routinely put things off to the last minute and actually feel like I work a little better when the pressure is on. But with this project, there was no way I could wait until the last minute to get started and complete it on time.

I have played around with the idea of writing an eBook for one of my websites for quite some time. The fear of failure (as in writing it and never selling a single copy) always kept me from taking the plunge. In February, I decided to just do it and see what happens. I say that I would rather do something and fail than not and wonder “what if” so I decided to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak.

I gave myself a deadline and I made it with a few hours to spare. Here’s how I did it…

1. I announced to other people on the message board of the site that book would be for that I was writing a book. I also told them that I would have the rough draft done by March 1st. It was very important for me to tell others about it so I would feel a sense of accountability.

2. I broke the book up into sections and then did a mental calculation of how long I had to work on each section to meet my goal.

3. I dove in and just started writing without worrying about editing or how perfect it would be. I continually reminded myself that my goal was to get a rough draft on paper, not to create a masterpiece in a month’s time.

4. When time was dwindling down, I posted on my Facebook page about my goal. Several people keep me motivated by posting on my other status updates about where I was with the book project.

On February 28th, with just 6.5 hours to spare, I completed my rough draft. Not only that, but I had also completed importing it into the eBook format I created.

My next goal is to have the eBook ready for sale by March 15th which is when my next newsletter for the website goes out to over 2,500 subscribers. Knowing I have a concrete deadline helps!

I have also revisited the Smart Passive Income blog where Pat once commented about how much money he probably left sitting on the table because he had not released his eBook when he first thought of it. I don’t even want to calculate that figure but it does help to motivate me to complete it and get it out there.

So my first foray into really setting goals and attempting to reach them has been a success, at least thus far. The real success will come on March 15th when I can announce to my readers that the eBook is ready! Wish me luck!

Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

This is a quote I found today by Mark Twain and it is so true.

When I started working for myself, I had more naysayers around me than cheerleaders. People had no problem telling me I had officially lost it as I quit my corporate job and decided to trek out on my own. I didn’t know a lot of people who had their own business so I sought to find them online. I read through their blogs and spent time following other entrepreneurs through forum postings. I learned a lot simply by reading about what they were doing and implementing some of their most successful approaches that they graciously shared.

Even as my business took off, those naysayers remained. Apparently, if I didn’t have a job where I put on a business suit and worked on the 20th floor, I didn’t have a career at all. After all, according to them, it is impossible to make money unless you work for “the man”.

When I started my MBA program, I was asked repeatedly why I was there if I didn’t intend to get a “real” job after I graduated. At first, it irritated me but I eventually learned to ignore it all. I sought out others who wanted to be entrepreneurs and spent my time with them. My entrepreneurship professor was a great resource and one of the few who actually “got it” when I talked about working for myself.

I attended many entrepreneurial events and was always so inspired when I was in the presence of these people. I always had a notebook with me and it seemed to be the time that I was able to brainstorm the most ideas. Simply being in the same room with people who were successfully self employed was enough to motivate me to keep going.

Finally, I realized that these other people (who by the way, even now, seven years later, still ask me what I do all day) just are wired different than I am. Just because it won’t work for them doesn’t mean it is not working for me. And even though I am sometimes tempted to plaster my bank statement to my forehead when I’m around them, I have learned that it would be useless. They just simply don’t get it. To them, you either work for the man for thirty years until you get your gold watch or you’re not successful.

To me, that seems like an absolutely dreadful way to live. I have put these people on ignore and learned to do a lot of smiling and head nodding around the ones that I have no choice about being around (such as family).

I seek out those who are like me. Those who think it can be done. Those who have done it and who are more than willing to help anyone else do the same. I encourage you to do the same. Being around like minded people has tremendously improved my outlook on the future of my business as well as my motivation to keep plugging along.

We have all heard about the superwoman mom who is expected to juggle everything from the household to the kids to a full-time job. Before I had a baby, I thought I could easily manage it all. After all, I had faced challenges in the past where colleagues left and their work was dumped on my desk without a problem. I simply picked up where they left off and continued to do all of my own work. Surely adding a baby to the mix wouldn’t be too much harder.

I don’t know that I have ever been so wrong about something in my life.

Having a baby has been a massive change in my life. On some levels, I expected the change. But I wrongly assumed that at least while he was small, I would be able to continue to work as I always had. It wouldn’t be until he was crawling and walking that things would truly become challenging.

Wrong again.

Trying to work from home with a newborn has been nearly impossible. To those who have figured out a system, I applaud you. I scoured the internet for ideas from other moms who had mastered a system. What I found was moms who were getting up at 4am or going to bed at 2am in order to be able to work.

Where is the fun in that? I decided to work from home nearly seven years ago so that I wouldn’t have to keep up with a schedule like that. But I figured if it worked for them, maybe it would work for me as well. So I tried it. I was so exhausted (since he wasn’t even coming close to sleeping through the night) that I could barely think straight much less work. I considered it an accomplishment if I kept my eyes open. Not to mention, any hope of quality time with him went out the window when I was being pulled in so many directions for 20 out of the 24 hours of the day.

I held out for 5.5 months trying everyone’s system that I could find. Then I did it. I admitted failure. I can’t do it all. And by trying, I wasn’t doing anyone any favors. My work was suffering because I was doing it with a brain that was in desperate need of sleep, my son wasn’t getting quality time with me because I was so tired all the time and my husband, well, he was beginning to forget what I looked like.

So Plan B was implemented or would this be Plan X by this point? Not working was not an option for my husband or for me. And that left daycare. Luckily, I was able to find a great place for him where good friends take their kids. This is his first week there.

The result?

I’m rested. My work is done. My husband has seen me this week and my son and I are enjoying time that is completely uninterrupted each morning and afternoon.

So you may not be able to do it all but I certainly believe you can have it all.

Some are probably wondering where the connection between the two subjects lies. For me, it is a very important connection. When I chose to venture out on my own, I changed my world completely. Though I sometimes wonder what in the world I am doing, I could not be happier to be living the life of an entrepreneur.

For one, it allows me to stay home with my son. That was not the plan in 2004 when I first quit my job as a senior director in the health care field. Fast forward five years and that is exactly what it has allowed me to do.

There are certainly drawbacks to entrepreneurship.

My paychecks are not consistent from one month to the next. I know roughly what I will make and the way I have my business set up allows me to know a minimum that I will make regardless. However, it is not a set paycheck. Sometimes that can be fun as not having a set paycheck also means I don’t have a limit. I also don’t have to beg for raises or make my case for why I’m not being paid what I’m worth (who is?).

There are quite a few people who still don’t think I actually work even after I have successfully provided financial support for my family for more than five years now. They ask me all about what comes on television during the middle of the day and if I can run errands for them “since I’m just sitting at home anyway”. Yeah, right. It was definitely frustrating at first. In fact, I was tempted to walk around with my bank statement glued to my forehead. But I eventually got over it and now I just have those people on ignore. Too bad they haven’t figured that out yet!

There are also many upsides to working for myself.

I can fire clients who don’t meet my expectations. And I have. It was actually a very liberating experience. I no longer have to deal with micro managers or people who generally strive to make other people’s lives less than ideal. I just break off the professional relationship and look for other revenue to replace it. It isn’t always quite that simple but I decided a long time ago that there is no amount of money that is worth being treated badly.

I work in my pajamas. Literally. It is 2:30 in the afternoon and I am sitting here in sleep pants and a sweatshirt as comfortable as I could possibly be. Not to mention that I can work solely from my laptop. So I am also in the recliner with my feet kicked up. I don’t think there are too many corporate offices that would allow my style in the corner suite.

I can work as much or as little as I want. Of course, my paychecks also reflect that. But when I was working for others, I always had set hours to be at work. I am not a morning person at all so this was never very conducive to my creativity. Now, I can work when I feel best. If that is at 2am, there is no one to stop me, other than possibly my husband. I can also cram all of my work into three days and then take the rest of the week off without having to wait for my vacation days to be approved.

I’m not tied into one job. I admit that I get bored easily. My business is set up in a way that I can explore all areas that interest me. I don’t have to submit a proposal to the CEO to launch a new project or go off in a different direction. It is entirely up to me. That can be a little scary at times but it is also very freeing. And incredibly rewarding.

My success is mine. All mine. If I fail or if I succeed, it is the result of my efforts. While there is no one else to blame when things go down in flames (and they do!), it is also very inspiring to me that the successes I experience are due to my own creativity and work.

Overall, starting my own business has greatly improved my outlook. When I worked for others, I had multiple health problems including a heart condition in my mid-20s that has mysteriously cleared on its own without further medical intervention. Stress will do that to you! I would love for everyone I know to be able to spend their days doing what they love to do. There is no better way!

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

This has been one of my biggest obstacles with becoming self employed. It is sometimes very hard to jump into the unknown. It is tempting to wait until everything is perfect before acting but in doing so, a lot of times the opportunity is gone once all the stars have properly aligned.

It took me quite a while to realize that just because there are challenges and obstacles in the way does not mean that it is not an opportunity worth pursuing. In fact, it is quite the opposite. If there are not any challenges, then I’m either not looking at it hard enough or it will not be very fulfilling in the end as it will be so easily accomplished.

I have a notebook full of business ideas. Some are just that – ideas. It is fun to think about them but I know I don’t have enough interest in them to really see them through. Others are great ideas that just need to be implemented but I sometimes find myself making excuses for why they need to be put on hold whether it be timing or financial issues.

I must have put off starting this blog for at least three months. My total expense? $19.95 for the domain name and $7.95 a month for hosting. I didn’t think twice of going out to eat and spending much more than that on a one hour meal. It is funny how our minds will comprehend things and throw up obstacles that really shouldn’t be obstacles at all.

What I told myself was that it was the money. In actuality, it was the fear of putting myself out there and opening myself up to others. Would others be interested? Would anyone read it? Would someone think some of my thoughts were crazy, ridiculous or stupid? The answer to all of the questions is probably.

But when it came down to it, I just had to do it. Buy the domain name, purchase the hosting and start writing. Take the first step and see where it leads me.

I think I will revisit my notebook and see what else is out there that I am putting off until the “perfect” time. I have always said that I never want to look back and wonder what if. It is about time I stand behind that.